Untitled musings, pt. 1

…then he stuck his two fingers up inside me, and played around, kind of silly and high school-ish, but sexy at the same time, touching some good spots in there, like he knew what he was doing.

I just wanted his cock inside me. It didn’t matter where, in my pussy, my mouth, my… ass…

I just wanted to feel it pulsating inside me, pushing its way insistently inside my body, taking me over and bending me to its will.

That’s the way I think of it — Its will. Not his.

He’d said being stoned made him want sex. He mentioned it in passing, just explaining to me why he was so hesitant to smoke weed when with a group of friends. I like weed, but it has very specific uses for me. It’s good for creative writing — alone. It’s good for playing music, also alone. Or with a band, improvising. It helps if everyone else is stoned. And it’s good for sex.

He grinned, blushed.

Hmmm… so if you was to get hard right now, it wouldn’t be because you found me sexy, or because I was down here on my knees getting ready to blow you, it would just be the weed, right?

You… want to blow me…

You damn right.

He chose my cunt.

Oh, God, I knew you would feel like that.

Like what?

Like… you just fit everything inside me, just perfect. Like we’re perfect mirrors of each other in reverse.

When later, he chose my ass, it felt much the same way.

I told him he was my first.

It’s good, baby, I said in response to his anxious watching face, looming above mine. He’d insisted we do it this way if it was my first; less painful, he said.

It did feel good, despite the discomfort of having my legs on my shoulders. He didn’t compare in size to my father’s friends, but I hadn’t been very big back then either; both organs had changed in size and length, but they somehow still fit much better, tighter, created more friction.

Later I found out that the tissues inside a woman’s vagina swell when she’s really aroused. That explains how his cock felt in my cooter, but in my booter…?

He’d been the first since I was a kid, so that was some kind of virginity prize, I think.

He filled every crevice there just right, too.

I think he took it back, erased things, made it mine again. It didn’t belong to my daddy’s drunk friends anymore, back in the islands. Is that possible?

I think this is all I ever want again. I’ve had a thousand, but this one was made for me.

Is that possible?

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Our Jeffrey, or Too Good

Nicole came into my office Thursday morning, moving stiffly, tired but smiling.

She sat gingerly, grimacing as her butt made contact with the chair. I raised my eyebrows.

“Mmmmm…Jeffrey was over last night,” she explained.

I nearly choked on my coffee. “Our Jeffrey?” I gestured toward the hallway; his office was just down the corridor.

She nodded.

“…and you…?”

“…had anal. Yes.” She blushed. “Up ‘til the wee hours. That man’s sex drive is pretty impressive.”

In a discussion about Sex and the City a few weeks ago, a bunch of us girls had talked about it, but no one was willing to admit to having ever done it. Nicole hadn’t said much, I recalled.

“Wow. Never done it. Is it…hot?”

“It’s… interesting. Hurts, especially at first. But… he wanted it pretty bad. Said I had a great badonkadonk, and he wanted a piece of it. I think it’s funny when white boys use words like that.” She grinned, then grimaced again. “I like it when he’s excited. He just gets me hot with the way he touches me, so forceful, so demanding. Like there’s no way I am going to refuse him anything… and I never do.”

I was starting to think maybe it hadn’t been her first time.

“Do you enjoy being … fucked in the ass, though?”

“Oh, yeah. It feels naughty and dirty and he’s hard as a rock… When he’s on top of me or behind me thrusting, taking what he wants without asking, it’s… too good. A real turn-on.”

I squirmed. “Oh yeah? Tell me. How does it turn you on?”

“Well, it’s not all physical. I want to be wanted, and to be dominated is hot, although I never knew I wanted it until he just fuckin’ did it to me.”

“How… else does he dominate you?”

I slid back in my chair and felt the silk of my pants rub across the folds in the leather, nudging me pleasantly. On a whim, I hadn’t worn panties this morning. But as I got up and moved to the front of my desk to sit on the corner and lean closer so she could speak more quietly, I had the thought that maybe I should have. There was a wet spot on the silk.

“He … makes me kneel and beg for his cock in my mouth. I don’t really like it when he starts moving, like he’s fucking my mouth, going deep in my throat, grabbing my head. I get off on swallowing his come, because it’s hot to be told what to do, to be ordered, like I have no choice. Sometimes I actually get myself off just by thinking about that.”

I noted her nipples, pressing her top like marbles. I wasn’t sure if they had been that way when she came in, but I didn’t think so. Was she getting hot talking about this? I wondered. It seemed I was.

She was exciting me and repelling me at the same time.

I’d had no idea she was even interested in him. He didn’t seem like her type, the pretty white boy, sweet but slightly spacey, like he was stoned a lot.

Her legs shifted and I caught a quick whiff of sex. I felt myself suddenly get even wetter, slicker, and I knew the chances of getting behind the desk unnoticed were few.

I leaned forward to cover the growing spot on my slacks, and surreptitiously sniffed the air. She rose a bit just then so my face was uncomfortably near her crotch, and then I was inhaling deeply, the rich vapors filling my nose and head.

Her eyes widened. “What the fu…? Girl, you need to explain yourself.”

Before I could stop myself, I slid my hand up her solid thigh and under her dress. My fingers touched wiry hair, poking around her panties.

Her breasts heaved and she panted. “Girl, you need…” she began again, and then choked off with a strangled sound when my warm fingers pulled aside the silk and pressed through the thicket into her slick, steamy cunt. Then my thumb found her clitty. “Oh, God…” She lifted her hips off the chair and shoved her groin at me, and I found myself sinking to my knees, my tongue following my hands.

My lips met her halfway and I sucked her clit into my mouth. “Oh, fuck,” she said softly and began to ride my chin as my fingers slid up into her. The deep musky smell of ripe pussy — recently fucked? — overpowered me.

“Did he…” I asked breathlessly, “put his dick in here, too?”

She grabbed my head and pulled it back down. “Of course. I need that more than the other… and he didn’t give me near enough. So you’re gonna have to finish what you start. Hope you know what you’re doing.”

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I didn’t. I’d never even seen another woman’s sex up close before, outside of porns. But I could taste him there, or I imagined I could. Her cunt tasted mainly like salt, oily, almost fishy, redolent of rain-dampened wool left to dry improperly in a closet. But the idea of eating her after his cock had been in there was as hot as anything I could imagine, and I gobbled her madly, licking her like a large gamy fruit, a mango, maybe, whose juices ran down my chin as I chewed… Soon, she went over the top with a cry, braced rigid against the chair, and my face filled with the oily, frothy thrusting prickliness of her orgasm.

She relaxed. “Good Lord, Sarena. I never knew you even had dyke tendencies. Warn a girl, why don’t you?” She gasped.

“I didn’t… don’t … really…” I said, also out of breath. “I don’t know… I just got hot at the thought of licking you after he…”

She grinned. “I guess. Well,” she lit a cigarette and exhaled a white cloud.

I wanted one too, but knew better. They always smelled better than they tasted. Pussy wasn’t like that. Its taste was all smell and feel.

“Did you taste him in my pussy?”

“I… smelled him on you. Not sure about the taste, but I think so. Kinda.”

She stared a minute. “So you know how he tastes.”  She rose. “You fucking him too, huh?”

I sank back on my heels. She moved in, towered over me, her thick black thighs thrust forward near my face. “He puts his thick dick in that little hairless baby cunt of yours?”

I nodded.

She looked angry for a second. “Why that motherfucker…!” Then she shook her head and laughed.

“So you wanted to taste his juice in my cooter, huh?”

I nodded.

“Like it?”

I nodded again.

“Well, you know… he never came in my cunt last night,” she said. “It’s a wonder you didn’t want to lick my ass.” She chuckled. “You want to rim my ass, too?”

I shook my head.

She suddenly grasped my face and pushed me backward to the floor, her mouth inches from mine, her body utterly dominating mine. “You sure?” she said huskily, and then thrust her tongue into my mouth. Her hands pawed my tiny breasts and her wiry pubic hair rubbed my groin through my clothes. I nodded.

She reached behind and yanked my pants down over my ass. “He fuck your little baby ass, too, girlfriend?” she said, her finger touching my left cheek and moving into the crease.

Nicole slips in and out of ‘street’ idiom at will; I think she does it to mess with us bourgeois white kids.

I shook my head again.

“No?” she said.

“No,” I answered softly. “He probably wants to. He looks at it a lot. But he’s never asked.”

“Huh,” she sniffed. “You want him to?”

“I… I don’t know. I’m sort of turned on by the idea, especially when you talked about it just now, but I don’t know if it would feel good in reality. He’s so big…”

“And you’re so tiny.” She pressed the flat of her thumb against my anus and I moaned involuntarily. I was both scared she’d push it in and afraid she might not.

She laughed and stood suddenly, pulling her thumb free, and then straddled me the other way, 69-style, her large hairy crotch a foot above my head, inverted. She lowered her head and licked my vagina experimentally. “I’ve never eaten pussy before,” her voice breathless and muffled. “Yours is pretty.” She thrust her hands under my ass, lifted me easily and stuck her hard tongue into me, rammed it deep, as if fucking me with it. It felt a lot like a small cock, until she flexed her tongue inside me, snaking it about, touching crevices that had never been stimulated. I moaned loudly and she began to lap me, sliding her broad tongue across it and then ramming it down inside me, twitching it about. I felt her hit my G spot effortlessly, then the A spot, and soon I was hers to do with what she wanted. She took me to the edge and toyed with me, held me there. I heard her say something against my groin, and then she lowered herself to my chin.

I licked, sucked, chinned her soaking and reeking snatch, but she wanted more. I thought I knew what.

I refused.

She stopped, and I felt the awesome delayed orgasm begin to recede. “Oh, no, Nicole, I’d love to, but I can’t,” I wheedled. “I’ll do anything but lick your ass…” I touched my right index finger to her anus and pushed hard, and she stiffened.

“Make a fist,” she said.

“What…?”

“Make a fist. Left hand.”

“O..k.” I balled up my hand.

“Show me.”

I held my fist down near my cunt so she could see it from her angle above me.

She grunted with approval. “A nice little baby fist. Make it hard and…fuck me with it,” she panted.

“In your…?”

“My pussy, silly girl.” She made a sound of irritation.

I put my fist against her inflamed slippery vulva, and pressed, the heat and the muscle taking over and squeezing, pulling me in to my forearm. She moaned and her body above me shook.

“Now… move it!” she ordered. She rocked her body to get the motion started and soon I was fucking her with my arm, my finger on the bud of her ass.

“Oh, Lord,” she said and began to lash my clit wildly, plunging her hard tongue into me, turning my insides to liquid, quickly heating. “It’s… too good.”

The orgasm washed over us both simultaneously, mine producing the kind of clenching spurting intensity that happened once in a blue moon, with him more often than anyone, usually after a healthy dose of some sort of hallucinogenic.

Hers led her to clamp her muscles round my forearm almost painfully as she came, spasm after spasm of forceful milking wetness bathing my arm inside her. I held still for a minute then decided to use my instincts, ramming deep inside her like I liked a cock to do when I was coming, and she clearly loved it. Then I decided to see if I could open my hand inside her, and almost had it when she froze and screamed. “Ohhhhhh…Dear Jesus. Ohhh, fuckety-fuckety-fucccckkkkkkk…”

I thrust my thumb into her ass, and she jerked, so I added my index finger for good measure before she finally begged for me to stop.

“You kinky little cracker bitch,” she said when she had caught her breath. “that was hot as hell. You made me come like a real whore. I owe you…” she stopped, and a naughty smile stole across  her face.

She dropped her head again, out of sight. I felt her hands on me again, under my thighs. lifting my butt off the floor, and her tongue slid down across my cunt again. She lowered her cunt to just above my face, effectively pinning me to the floor. Then her hard tongue made its way into my butt, pushing just inside and stopping. I froze, and she pulled out, then in again, slowly working my ass. It felt delicious and naughty, beyond anything I’d ever felt. Then a thick finger pushed slowly into my cunt, joined by another. “Oh, my fucking God,” I whispered. “Oh, Nicole. Make me come, you beautiful whore. Make me come. Make me come!”

“I’ll let you in a minute,” she said with a laugh, but it was too late.

When she stuck her tongue inside me again, over the edge I went, into a land where I’d never been before. I’d never had an orgasm that felt like this, this nasty and this good. It was like your first hit of Ex and your first orgasm, all wrapped up in one. It took so long to unwind that it felt like time was broken.

When I came back, Nicole was cradling me in her arms, nuzzling my neck.

“You’ll want it in your junior-sized ass now, little cracker,” she said gently. “I got you all ready for a cock in that cute little pooty-hole.”

Her hands kneaded my butt gently. “Ummm hmmm. I can see that big thick rod opening up your little bumhole wide. And you will fuckin’ love it,” she predicted confidently. “It’ll be too good.”

**

It was a few weeks later that I finally got the nerve to ask him. The prospect of that thick stout cock pressing into my tender ass, maybe tearing me open, scared me almost more than it excited me.

Almost. Some nights the thought of something big and determined, forcing its way into my vitals, crudely, almost angrily, made me come harder than I ever had, until I saw spots dancing in front of my eyes.

I knew I needed to try it, even if I might regret it.

I waited until one of the nights he’d smoked a big fat joint and was huge, hard and reefer-ready to fuck me.

That was in response to Nicole’s instructions. “You want it hard as it’s gonna get,” she said. “Might seem like the bigger it is, the worse it hurts, but bigger isn’t the worst thing. Half-soft hurts more. Pulls, tugs, burns.”

He was hard. Like steel. His cock gets so rigid when he smokes weed, it seems to get bigger. The  ganjaerection, he calls it.

His cockhead vibrated with lust, wanted me like a drug.

My butt quivered with fear…and curiosity.

“How would you feel about us doing some anal?” I asked casually.

His eyes, reddened though they were, brightened. He nodded his head, hard.

He wanted me over the bed, bent over. I felt him press his thumb against my anus, nudge inside slowly, and then rotate slowly, adding a finger. Inside me, things started to happen, a deep rumble of warmth, an almost uncomfortable fullness, actually right on the cusp of too much and just right. He held me there for awhile. suspended, and then he pressed in deeper… deeper…

Suddenly, a spot he touched switched it over into white-hot, clenching pain, and just as suddenly I was in the grip of an animal hunger, a need to be used, to be at someone’s mercy, their toy; my pain, their pleasure. When he held still, I rammed myself back on his hand, skewering myself on his hand.

It felt amazingly nasty, like something we knew better than to do, but did anyway. It burned inside me, and I moved off it, then missed it terribly as soon as it was gone.

He chuckled stonedly. “I guess you’re ready for the real thing.”

Another squirt of lube and he lined up behind me, hunkering down, pressing his cockhead gently between my cheeks, being the careful cocksman. I wanted this fast, before I could change my mind and chicken out. “Do it!” I panted and thrust back impatiently, wanting to feel him inside me, and damn the hurt.

Crave the hurt, actually. I pressed myself upon his cock, felt it shoving my anus open rudely, and pulled about a third of it up into me, when suddenly it widened considerably, wedging me open from within, and the pain was exquisite. “Oh, dear Lord,” I chirped, scared out of my wits at what I was doing to myself. Slightly off balance for a second, Jeffrey quickly recovered and, catching my urgency, seized my ass in his hands, shoved me forward until my forehead touched the bed, and took over, ramming the rest of that thick rounded missile into my virgin ass, banging it in to the hilt.

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The pain-filled lightning that roared through my head like a freight train went straight to my clit and was transformed into energy, and my hands leaped to catch it, clasping my crotch and rubbing in a frenzy. I’d never been one to masturbate hard, but this called for a new rule, and harder was better. The orgasm welled, grew huge and yet held off, bolstered by the feeling of that thick piece of hot, metal-hard meat buried in my tiny, pale virgin ass.

And he was so not taking it easy on me. After the way I’d shoved my ass at him, who could blame him for assuming this was not my first time? He thrust hard inside, hammering me open and pounding me like the experienced anal fancier he had apparently take me for, burying his thick tool in me to the hilt again and again… and again… as I gasped and tried to form the words to stop him . No, oh, no, no, please…!

But I don’t think it would have worked even if I had. He was in the grip of a monster lust, a crazy, stoned automatic fucking machine that was barely aware of me as a person; I was just a place to slam his swollen cock, a receptacle for his boiling sperm.

When he came, I came with him, sobbing, begging, the words finally freed by the monstrous wave of pleasure that washed over me, hot and prickly, making me feel like I had a fever. “Ohbabyohbabyohbabyoh…fuck,” I sobbed the words. “Fuck the hell out of me, fuck me, fuck me more…”

He did. Oh, God, did he.

When I walked in the next morning, Nicole was the first person I saw. Watching me gingerly negotiate the door and sit carefully, she grinned knowingly.

“Too good, girl,” she said softly as she poured us both coffee. “Welcome to the club.”

The word seemed appropriate. It felt this morning like that’s what he’d rammed into me the night before, a club.

But I also knew that I was going to go back for more. She was right; it was too good.

The 5:15 local

“You touched my thigh.” Her voice was incredulous.

“Yes. I was trying to rouse you, to tell you I need to get out.”

“It’s… not your stop.The train is not at a stop.”

I smiled. “Bathroom break.”

She still didn’t move. “You could have touched my arm.”

“Yes.”

“Why didn’t you?”

I didn’t answer. Truth is, her hand had been on her thigh until just before that, and I had assumed it still was. But the larger truth was…

“You’ve been looking at me, at my legs, especially, out of the corner of your eye ever since I got on the train.”

“I suppose I have. Sorry. I thought you were asleep. Should I stop?”

“What sort of answer is that?”

“An honest one, I think.”

She smiled in spite of herself. “Yes, I think it is.”

“It was a pleasure looking. I hope you didn’t mind.”

She didn’t answer. Her eyes looked deep into mine and the silence stretched.

I put my hand back on her thigh, left it there.

She caught her breath sharply, looked at me searchingly, and then away.

After a moment. I moved my hand to the underside of her leg, lifted it, and rested it on my wrist. Her skirt covered my fingers touching her leg, just below the leg opening of her underwear. She caught her breath again, but her eyes didn’t move. In my peripheral vision, I saw her chest heave. After a moment, I slid my finger in under the cloth and touched her bush. She gasped, but looked ahead determinedly.

I pressed my finger in further, up through the slippery folds, slipped the tip of my index finger inside. It was hot, steamy, wet. She lifted her leg slightly, sliding down in her seat, her breath coming hard and fast. I touched her clitoris and her eyes closed, her chest heaving silently. A few dozen strokes and she came, squeezing my finger, her eyes as tightly clenched as her cunt.

After she’d collected herself, I withdrew my finger.

After a moment, she mumbled something.

“What?” I asked, moving slightly closer.  She took my chin in her hand, aimed it toward the side of her face.

“Say something dirty,” she said softly. “Right in my ear.”

I considered. “You have the tightest, hairiest cunt,” I said softly.

She stiffened.

“I love your hairy, wet snatch,” I continued. “I wanna bury my cock in it.”

She nodded. “Dirtier.”

“Right here on the damn train, with everyone around us.”

“Dirtier!” she insisted.

I took a breath. “But I really just want to fuck you in the ass.” She caught her breath, her eyes closed tightly. She squealed softly.

“Just jam my hard cock right into your cute, tight little bum,” I said. “Lube it up and bury it between your gorgeous cheeks.”

Abruptly, she came again, sobbing softly to a finish. I hadn’t had a finger on her.

I grabbed her bag.

“Come,” I said.

“A… again?”

I took her hand. Walked to the door.

“But… this isn’t my stop,” she said.

“It’s our stop,” I said.

After a moment, she nodded, eyes downcast.